I hope you love her
The girl who you couldn’t tell your secrets to
so you told me
I hope you love her
I hope she kisses all over your body
because no one ever touched you like that
You deserve to be sad and you deserve to be happy, So happy that you can shout it from the mountain tops. You decided to live, when life wanted you to die. When life shoved a bag over your head you found ways to bite your way through. When the blade wanted to stay on your skin you found a way to throw it in the trash can and you deserve to love again. You deserve to be kissed like never before. You deserve the white dress and the fairy tale. You deserve the dark night and the wind in your hair. When the bullies shoved your head into a wall, hoping your head was full of acceptance; you forgave them and lived. When your family shattered and threatened to bring you to your knees, you learned how to walk again. You deserve this life.
kiss me again
like you used to
my kiss believed in you
my hands believed in you
my mind knew better
words you didn’t have to say
revealing secrets was easy for you
but once they were out you wanted to
and fall into my arms
except my arms are now around someone else
I still feel your words inside of me
I still wear your scars on my heart
After you told me you had cancer
Everytime I saw you I’d kiss the spot
You thought nothing of it
But I tried to kiss it away
On my birthday I was broken
But you kissed my lips
That was the last time
Now I wonder to this day
If you were trying to kiss me away
I want to write you away.
I want to write this pain away.
I want to empty my heart on blank pages.
But I know that I can’t.
- Sakshi J
Holding hands means more to me
Do you know what i’m holding?
When I hold your hand
I am holding every hand that you held before
I am feeling your hand on the door
I am feeling the blade that you tossed on the floor
I am holding the reasons you write
I am holding the nerves in your body
I am holding cells that make you mine
I am holding you
in the most intimate way
Death taught me more about life than living ever could,
That “I love you” are still three words that can mean the world to someone.
That no matter how much you fight with a friend, you’re always going to remember how good it felt to be friends with them.
That tomorrow is never guaranteed, so you need to love as hard as you can while you still can.
In 2nd grade I had no friends. I often got made fun of because my hair was always a mess. Then I met you. You were so sweet and I can still remember the way you smelled. How every gift you gave me smelled like you. You gave me one of those roses that they sell during valentines day season at gas stations. You also gave me much more than that. (Literally and figuratively speaking.) I’m sorry that I broke your heart. I know that I was your first gf. I would never trade the friendship that relationship and ongoing crush gave me. I remember it being dark outside and we were on our way to the circus on a field trip. We listened to Metamorphosis by Hilary Duff the whole way there. I loved those moments. I loved being there for you as you cried. I loved sneaking into your house. I loved staying all night. I loved the random things that we did. I love the way you could always make me smile. You could really make anyone smile, even if that meant rubbing your nipples.
But I hate how you grew distant. I hate how you cut me off. I hate the way you didn’t invite me into your plans when I felt like I deserved to be included. Mostly because I missed you, Nate. I told you that a lot. I missed taking pictures with you and Junior. I missed the way we made life interesting.
Remember the time you chased me with a weed wacker in the rain? I ran out and fell on my ass. The time we went flying on your moped and you almost wrecked both of us….multiple times.
Meatball marina subs, you’re disgusting Nate.
I remember putting peanut butter on Juniors toes.
Performing black magic on our enemies.
I swear we did everything together.
I can rest easily, knowing that you are okay.
I can rest knowing that you are at peace. Your health issues are no longer going to hurt you.
I’m lucky that I got to have you in my life.
If it wasn’t for you, a part of me would be missing.
So thank you,
You random, fierce asshole.
I love you.
*Flings open balcony door* “BUT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ALL THE ENERGY!” Kaety shouts as I sip on my vodka.